one year.

It’s hard to believe that we lost Noah one year ago today. We weren’t prepared to lose you. In all the years we knew how sensitive your heart was, we still weren’t prepared. Now as I’m sitting her trying to reflect on the 365 days I’ve had to wake up without you, the pain is searing. Nothing truly eases the pain and I know nothing ever will.

But through all this pain, I can’t help but to see through it—the kind of person she was. The amount of light that always shined around her. We all know this. I’ve always believed she was brought to this world for a reason, so I must believe there is a reason she left this world. I am certain she was placed here to change people’s lives, just as I’m certain of my own name. But more importantly, she has seemed to have dusted this magic all over us and have blessed us even more so with every lesson she taught every single one of us. Just ask anyone who knew her what impression she left of them and I’m certain once again that it’s something they’ve never encountered before. It was her magic. And now she leaves a long trail of hope leaving clues for us along the way. I look for them every day and when I find them it gives me courage to take another step.

I think about her resilience and how even on the hardest days of her journey, when bravery felt so overrated, I could still tell she remained a force to be reckoned with. Noah’s bravery has always stood out to be the motivating factor for the many people whose lives she’s touched. It continues to be my push to wake up every morning and breathe. 

I continue to look at her selflessness and how she taught us to always try and put our best self forward. To live honestly with gratitude and empathy. How many of us truly live this way? How many of us think of others before themselves? That compassion IS the greatest gift. This is how she lived. These thoughts stemming from someone so young and too young to leave this world. I am certain she has moved onto a better place where her spirit and energy will live on for an eternity—a place I long to be one day and see her again.

I hope to one day leave a fraction of a legacy she left and continues to leave. I hope we all keep thinking upon her when the going gets tough, when every card is stacked against us because she’ll be there pushing us and guiding us along the way, using her magic. So this year, may it be a year of growth—all be it with baby steps—in finding our way to navigate this world with the tools she’s left us. We’ll be sure to share our stories, keeping Noah’s magic alive.